Thanksgiving Fill

My poor planning and scheduling equated to a fill the day before Thanksgiving.  In some ways, it was a good idea, and in other ways it was very bad.  I had my appointment at 3:40 on Wednesday, so I couldn't have solids until 4PM on Thursday..shoot me!  My band now holds 8ccs with potential up to 14ccs.

The day actually went pretty well, and luckily it was just immediate family, so no questions about my bizarre eating on Thanksgiving.  I had coffee, malt-o-meal, yogurt, and tomato soup..it wasn't too bad except for the delicious smelling stuffing and pumpkin pie! Unfortunately  I ate WAY to much when I was finally clear for solids (and for the following two days) which made the scale creep up about three pounds.  I also felt sick!

I'm back to normal now with my eating and exercise routines, and feeling MUCH better!  I am almost back down to wear I was pre-turkey day at 165 pounds.  Could I have done better?  Sure, I could have done WAY better, but I'm happy that I didn't continue eating poorly and made my way back to a good spot with just 20 pounds to go to my goal.

Hope everyone had a WONDERFUL Turkey Day, I know I had A LOT to celebrate from where I was a year ago.  I'm so thankful for my band, and the support of such wonderful friends and family!

On the HUNT!

Since my last post about my position being eliminated, I've been on the job hunt.  It's a lot harder than the last time around probably because it's been eight years, I've gained some experience, and I'm just older :)  Regardless, it's hard and it sucks, but I'm choosing to stay positive and just move on.  I submitted around ten resumes in the last couple of weeks, and haven't heard a word YET.  I'm really hoping that next week is the week where my phone starts ringing off the hook!  Can't wait to find my dream job!

The lay-off has been positive for my weight loss journey.  I've went to the gym most days and have been making good food choices, well with the exception of last nights mis-hap at the pizza buffet - but we don't need to talk about that!  At the gym, I've tried several cardio and strength training classes, so that's been a lot of fun!

All in all, I'm a little bored, getting my work outs in and excited to find out what's next in my life!

Life's a BIOTCH!

Tuesday and every day since have been tough.  I was laid off..laid off from a place I went to for eight years and made many friends.  I've cried...A LOT!! I'm still upset, but trying to find a way to move on with hopes of finding bigger, better things and coming out stronger in the end.

On the band front, I had my fourth fill and am at 7ccs currently.  The RN at the appointment said that I have lost weight faster than a lot of bypass and sleeve patients, so I felt good about the hard work I've been putting in.  I'm still not feeling much restriction and have no food limitations - which is great!  My lay off has caused a lot of anxiety and lack of appetite, so I've lost a bunch of weight this week..crazy I know.  I'm currently just 20 pounds away from my goal weight of 150 (ultimate is 140-145).  I got this.

So..to sum it up - Pretty upset about being unemployed, but life will go on.  Weight loss is going well, can't wait to get to goal!  I'm gonna be ok.

Corn dogs..YUMMM

Disclaimer..this is a random post about corn dogs, zumba, fills, and NSVs.

Who doesn't like corn dogs?  Well..actually.. probably a lot of people.  BUT if you do, I strongly recommend the Morning*Star veggie corn dogs for just 150 calories.  They are pretty good!  I had mine with some veggie chips tonight, and it was delicious!  Granted, this wasn't a protein packed meal, but it was worth it!  I love finding these little treasures..LOVE!

I got a 5 day pass this week to the local Y.  It certainly isn't a fancy or new facility, and some of the members seem a bit sketchy, but hey it works.  I took a Zumba class tonight, and loved it - the instructor was AMAZING.  Since summer is quickly fading, and exercising outside will be impossible very soon, I am seriously thinking about joining.  I think the classes will be super fun and keep me motivated to get to goal!  I want to try Latin Hip Hop, cycling, dance aerobics..so many things!

I have fill #4 next week.  I think I will get a small fill since I'm still pretty much able to eat whatever I want in whatever quantity I want.  Luckily, I've had quite a bit of self control to continue losing the weight.  I'm not quite at a ten pound loss for the month, but I'm close.  My weight was 180 this morning, so I'll take it.  I am really hoping that the change in my exercise routine at the gym will prevent me from being at a plateau..cross my fingers.  I'm starting to think that I can get to my first goal of 150 pounds sooner than May..it's a challenge!

Last but not least...TWO NSV's!  Two weekends ago, I had a bachelorette party to attend and didn't feel like I had anything cute or sexy to wear.  So, I went to the mall near my hometown feeling stressed about finding something, but guess what..it was FUN!  I fit into normal clothes and bought way more than needed just because it felt so amazing!  Secondly, I'm starting to NOT hate photos of myself.  There were many photos taken at the bachelorette party, and I kinda started to feel cute again in them and even put some new pics on my FB page.  Life is GOOD!

No one said it was easy...

or did they?  It's sad that a lot of people think this is the easy way out or it's easy to lose weight now that I have the band.  What those people don't see if me weighing my breakfast, lunch, and dinner and tracking everything on MFP.  They also don't see me working out every evening - I ran two miles for the first time tonight (well...jogged)!  Anyway, they just don't see it, and I'm saying right now...this isn't easy.

Take for instance this last Saturday evening when I attended the bachelorette party of a friend.  I survived the day by eating really well, but when the buffet of deliciousness was rolled out, I lost the battle.  Granted, I still ate better than before the band, but I made some poor choices.  Anyway, it was a mis-step, but I got back on the saddle on Sunday and worked out extra hard and long and have made good food choices ever since.

The point..this isn't easy, at least it isn't easy for me.  It's really a lot of hard work, and that's what I want people to see!

Fill #3

Today marked my third fill and three months since my surgery!  The fill itself was pretty non-eventful.  I had 1.5ccs added for a total of 6ccs in my band...easy peasy!

Overall, everything is going really well, and I am losing weight faster than expected.  I lost 11 pounds since my last appointment which is more than I could ask for..my goal is 10 pounds in between visits and that seems like a pretty big goal.  Everyone seems to be really happy with my progress, and so am I!

Now, onto the next ten!  Here we go!

The Race Begins..

My friend and I were joking about our Weight Watcher days where we would eat WAY less and exercise WAY more a few days before a weight in... and OF COURSE we would strategize to wear the lightest weight clothing and accessories to have a good weigh in.  So funny the things we will do...please tell me I'm not alone in this.

Well lately, I've been feeling a little like my old weight watcher days getting ready for my next fill and doctor appointment next week.  I've been doing pretty well eating and exercising, the weight just isn't coming off as fast as it has the last few months.  AND I REALLY want to have a ten pound weight loss for the month.  On top of that, my weekends have been crazy with weddings..I even had CAKE last weekend!

So what should I learn from all of this?  First, I still need to work through some issues with food.  I should do my best and stay consistent for weight loss...and not by rallying a few days before a weigh in.  Second, it's ok to have A piece of cake once in awhile especially when you are celebrating the wedding of a great friend.  It's OK!  And lastly, I need to just be happy with my progress and realize that I'm not perfect and don't need to be.  I've come so far and am so proud of where I am at!

So with that...HAPPY Wednesday!  BTW...ANOTHER wedding this weekend..and MAYBE more cake :o)

Blah

Up until this point, I've been losing weight quite quickly by strictly tracking what I eat and exercising every day.  But guess what...it's getting harder.  I've known for many many years that losing weight, especially a significant amount of weight isn't easy but like so many others I'm looking for fast results!  Don't get me wrong, I'm still losing weight to be considered successful, I guess I am just impatient!

So I need to reflect on where I've been to give me the motivation to move forward in this journey.  I began this journey at 246 pounds on my surgery date, June 12, 2012.  Actually, they didn't weigh me the day of surgery which I find odd, so I'm using the last recorded weight at my doctor's office.  As of today, I weight 192.  When I put it in this perspective, I really should be proud of all of the hard work and success that has got me here in such a short amount of time.  That's 54 pounds in three months!  Now, if I could lose the other 50 in the next three months, I'd be set :)

My next fill appointment is coming up in a couple of weeks, and I would really like to see a ten pound loss since my last appointment.  I'm going to have to work extra hard to make that goal, but I think it's attainable...I just need to stay away from the nibbles of chocolate!

My Goal

Everything continues to go well with eating, exercise and the band.  I'm feeling great and losing steadily week by week.  I had a great loss of 15 pounds last month, and am hoping for another 10 pound loss by my next check up.  They will also do measurements in September, so that should be exciting!

Recently, I've been thinking more and more about my goal and where I want to be by when.  I still find it interesting that my surgeon's office has never talked about a goal weight with me, but it must be a strategy.  Anyway, I've decided that I want to be 150 by my Birthday which is mid-May.  It's just a month shy from my one year bandiversary, and I know I can do it if I stay strong and on track.  It's a BIG goal, but one I'm going to work hard to achieve.

So there it is...150 by May 13th.  Here we go!

Some other goals (more to come):
Wear a size 8
Get a pair of trendy jeans and love them!
Run a mile under 10 minutes
Start dating!
Feel great at my high school reunion next summer
Complete a 5K

Fill #2

I received a great report from both the Nutritionist and the PA at fill #2 last week.  I lost 15 pounds from my last visit (one month prior), so they were very pleased with my progress.  Of course, I wasn't in onederland when weighed with my clothes and shoes on, but I know the truth :)

The fill itself was pretty non eventful except for the fact that they are training in a new PA to assist.  He didn't do too bad, but was nowhere near what the experienced PA can do.  I bled a little from the poke..but in all reality it was just fine.  I now have 4.5ccs in my 14cc band.  It really isn't much, but it was my choice and I'd rather ease into the fills and stay on the loose side.

All is well with the band..I just hope that I can keep losing 10-15 pounds each month.  It's a pretty big goal, but if I stay focused, I think I can do it.

ONEDERLAND!

Today was the fabulous day I hit ONEDERLAND!  It's been a couple of years since I have been here, so I am super excited about hitting this goal just one day shy of my two month bandiversary.  What a great day..feeling so blessed and excited!

Along with hitting onederland, I've recently been talking to my Dad about my progress.  Although my band is helping me stay full longer, I feel that I am doing 90% or more of the work.  I am making the healthy choices in my food..trust me I could have ate the pizza and chocolate cake at the Birthday party I went to this morning, but I ate ahead of time and politely said no thank you.  I am also making the choice to work out every day and push myself...again trust me that I could easily fall back into my routine of sitting on the couch every night after work, but I get up and push myself to walk and even run some days.

So the point...I LOVE my band and have NO regrets about the surgery, it has been a wonderful tool in my weight loss journey.  But even more than the band, I am proud of myself for CHOOSING to get healthy.  I have the will to do this, and can't wait to reach my goal whatever that may be - haven't totally set yet but I'm thinking somewhere between 140-150.

Happy Saturday and happy ONDERLAND to me!

So close...

I'm so close to ONEDERLAND, I can almost taste it!  I'm just two pounds away, and it seems to be taking FOREVER to get there.  I'm really hoping that I can reach this mini milestone by my next fill/nutrition appointment a week from tomorrow.  It's funny that this is even a goal date because I will weigh more with my clothes and accessories on at the doctor's office- that always happens!  Regardless, I'm gonna work hard to make it happen - even if I'm the only one who really knows :o)

Exercise has been going really good.  I actually jogged a mile for the very first time last night, and was so proud of myself! I'd really like to keep working at this and maybe run a 5K or two within the next year.  I've also been walking on my treadmill in the evenings, and to be honest it's getting quite boring.  I'm thinking about getting an elliptical or joining the gym, but for now I have a good routine to last me the rest of summer.

Last but not least, I'm preparing for my fill next week.  Well, I'm not really preparing...just thinking about my options.  I only have 3cc's in a 14cc band, and I kinda like that I can eat any texture at this point in my journey.  Now, that doesn't mean I'm eating badly, it just means I have more choices and less worries about getting sick.  I guess I will just see what the good doc has to say...they know best.

Have I told you lately how happy I am to have my band!

 

They are noticing..

I was banded on June 12th and have lost almost 40 pounds since the pre-op liquid diet...I am just 6 pounds away from ONEDERLAND!!  I am so happy with my progress and my overall choice of getting the band, I feel so much better both physically and mentally!  I'm so blessed!

Like many others, I have only told a handful of people about my surgery (family and a few close friends), people that are supportive of my decision, people that want to see me succeed.  No one beyond this circle has really noticed my weight loss until recently.  Isn't it weird that you have to lose almost 40 pounds for people to be able to see it?  Maybe it's just my body shape.  Anyway, I've had several people at work notice this past week, and it's a little uncomfortable for me to talk about it without telling the entire truth.  I've just been saying "I'm working really hard eating healthy and exercising".  Of course this is true, but it's not the whole story.  I can only imagine that it will get harder as time goes on, but I'm not going to let that deter me.  

Who knows, maybe someday I will feel free to tell everyone about my little Bella Bandella and how happy I am to have this amazing tool.  Until then..I'm going to keep working hard until I reach my goal, and I'm almost halfway there!  AMAZING!

Too hard on myself?

After my first fill, I had an appointment with my nutritionist.  I look forward to these visits so I can ask all of the questions that have been on my mind.  She gives great advice and tips.

The last visit was a little different.  It began with my nutritionist saying "Wow, we typically don't see this much weight loss so quickly with the band.  I can tell you are working very hard".  I of course was excited by this news, however the discussion quickly led to a talk about perfection - an all or nothing approach that I seem to have adopted throughout my life. 

We talked about how I've stuck to a very rigid diet since surgery and how I've exercised every day as well.  We discussed my fear of not being able to exercise every single day or not eating exactly according to plan.  It was a very eye opening conversation...one that I'm still dealing with, and it scares the hell out of me.

Obviously, I'm not perfect and that's what got me overweight and out of shape in the first place.  If I keep expecting perfection, I will fail, and I refuse to fail.  So with that being said, I'm going to ease up on myself just a tiny bit because I can do this! 

My FIRST fill!

Well, I had my first fill today, and guess what?  It wasn't that bad!  The anticipation of the needle and the fill are far worse than the actual process that's for sure!

So here's how it went...
I met with the RN, and she was very happy with my progress - a 30 pound loss since my pre-op liquid diet.  She said that a lot of people either maintain or gain weight during this phase because of the lack of restriction.  SO I guess all of the self-restriction and exercise paid off!

What else was great about the RN, Candace?  She was a former lap band patient as well and lost tons of weight using this amazing tool.  Unfortunately, she had some complications and had a revision to the sleeve at three years post-op..but she LOVED her band.  It was great talking to someone who has been through this!

Next, I met with the Physician Assistant, Amy.  Wow..she was a pro!  She distracted me through conversation and I barely even noticed when she put the needle in..now that's good!  Once the needle was in, she removed the 1cc of fluid that was in my band and then put in 3cc which she said is quite normal.  I then sat up (with the needle still in - kinda weird) and drank some water which went down fine.  She pulled the needle out, and voila!

Overall, it was much much better than I was expecting.  A+ from me!

Feeling FAB!

Tuesday marks one month since my surgery, and I'm feeling FABULOUS!  It's really amazing what eating right, exercising and of course feeling full can do for your body.  I feel great and am so thankful for my band, I KNOW I can do this and am excited for the amazing journey ahead.

So what's next? In the next couple of days, I can move into regular foods as I can tolerate them.  So far, I've just been having soft foods, so this next step is a little scary.  I also have my first fill on Thursday, so it's gonna be a big week but I'm ready!

A few fabulous things:

• I'm feeling full even though there isn't any restriction in my band.
• Eating right hasn't been difficult at all - there are lots of yummy foods that are good for you!
• I've lost 30 pounds since starting the liquid diet before surgery.
• My energy is back, clothes are fitting better and I feel GREAT!

Happy weekend!

I survived!

I did it!  I survived the bachelorette without alcohol all while eating band-friendly food!  It was a fantastic day/evening sharing laughs and fun memories with some of my dearest friends from high school.  We had an absolute blast, but I just wasn't ready to tell them all about my band..YET!

So here's how I did it:

• Ate breakfast and lunch before everyone arrived - egg whites, fresh fruit, re-fried beans and cottage cheese.
• Cleared plates and replenished snacks while everyone else had lunch (a little tough)
• I was the designated driver, so no cocktails or shots for me!
• At dinner, I had fish and a few mashed potatoes - not too shabby!
• Iced tea and lots of water throughout the day!

So...I really had nothing to be worried about, at least at this stage in the game.  Since my band is empty, I'm guessing I can eat a little more and have a bit more leniency.  I doubt it will stay this way after my first fill, but it helped me through this weekend - HOORAY!

Now on to the 4th of July festivities!  Feeling great and hoping to be 80 pounds lighter by this time next year!  Let the fireworks begin!

And the hunger begins...

It's been two and a half weeks since I had surgery, and my hunger is starting to slowly come back.  I guess this is what I've seen called "Bandster Hell" in blogland.  I wouldn't quite call it hell...yet, but I can tell that with each day of healing, it's coming.  I'm trying to stay within the 1 cup guideline for each meal, but it's getting harder and harder! I'm thankful that my bariatric guide also says "or until satisfied"!  So I'll continue on and try my best until my first fill appointment on July 13th.

YAY for FISH!

Today was the magical day that I started soft foods, and it was delicious!  Here's a run-down of what I had:

• Scrambled egg and 1/2 banana
• Small skim latte
• 1/2c cottage cheese and 1/4c peaches
• 8oz skim milk
• 2.5oz fish, 1/4c cauliflower and a couple pieces of watermelon

I'm glad to be on soft foods, but I must admit I do have some anxiety about eating out or with people that don't know about my band. I'm guessing this is normal?!?!

I have a shower/bachelorette next Saturday, and I'm worried what I will have for dinner when we are all out.  Two of the ladies know about my band, but the others don't.  It's probably nothing to worry about...but it's in the back of my mind.  AND of course I can't have any alcoholic beverages..not that I really care, just have a feeling that there will be a bit of pressure from the others during the celebration.  Oh well...I WILL survive!

Anyway, I am taking it one day at a time.  The best news is that I am down about 22 lbs and feeling great!  YIPEE!

Post Op Happiness

So I had my post-op exam on Monday and all went well! Actually it went better than well...I lost 16 pounds in 16 days...UNFREAKEN believable!  I'm just hoping and praying they are never to be found again :o)  I also got sign-off to move from clear liquids to full liquids which was the greatest thing EVER.  Ya never know how much you miss chewing until it's taken away for over two weeks!

This week really has been about full liquids and pureed foods which feels like heaven compared to where I just was.  Overall, everything is going really well, and I couldn't be happier with my progress so far.  I haven't been super hungry and I'm starting to exercise (light walking for now).  I guess the biggest surprise is how well I feel at this point so soon after surgery..I feel like a million bucks!

In just a couple more days I will be moving to soft foods...YAY!  So excited to continue on in this journey!

Starting a new adventure!

It's been six days since my surgery, and I feel GREAT!  I never in my wildest bandster dreams thought that I could feel this good so soon, but I am so THANKFUL!  Today I have my post-op exam and am looking forward to getting the a-ok to move from clear liquids to full liquids.  I haven't been all that hungry after surgery, but I know it's coming soon so moving on through the phases is welcome.  I still can't believe I am banded!

I. Am. Banded.

Well it's official, I'm banded!

I went in for surgery on Monday morning and all went well with the procedure.  I stayed overnight one night because my insurance required it, and to be honest I didn't mind.  I'm now at home resting and drinking clear liquids until my post-op exam early next week.  Overall, things are going very well with the exception of a few aches around the incision areas and I'm super tired.  So far, I haven't encountered anything unexpected - I'm super thankful for that!

I'm so excited for this next chapter in my life!

It's almost here!

After eight days on the liquid diet, I think I'm really getting the hang of this.  My surgeon's office requires ten days, so I'm almost there!  Each day has become a little bit easier for me with the key to stay on top of the hunger and staying BUSY!  Last night I had a wedding and today I'm visiting a friend and her newborn - what better way to stay busy than to snuggle a beautiful baby!

Other than focusing on the diet, I've been trying to prepare for my actual surgery by following the wonderful advice of fellow bandsters.  I think I've stocked up on the necessities (clear liquids, gas*x, comfy body pillow, etc) and am almost ready.  I'm still nervous and excited all at once - just trying to stay focused on the end goal!

I'm ready!

Day 3 and counting...

Today was my third day on the liquid diet and my first day at work after officially starting.  I have to say..I was terrified to be on full liquids and going to work.  What if my stomach began growling or gurgling in a meeting?  What if I needed to use the bathroom?  What if anyone...NOTICED?  Well, all my fears were put to rest because guess what..it wasn't that bad!  Let's not go so far to say it was easy...but I realized if I stay on top of my hunger and prepare..I could do it!

So..what kind of liquids you ask?  Car*nation Essentials, coffee, tea, broth, sugar free pop*cicles, sugar free jello, gat*orade and Cry*stal Light.  Not a lot, but I guess enough.

Bring on DAY 4!

Here Goes Nothin!

Well, it's official.  I will be banded on June 12th..just ten days from now!  After months of doctor visits, tests and lots of paperwork...it's really going to happen and now it seems to be coming so quickly.  I'm ready for this new adventure.. I think :o)

So..a little about me...like so many in the land of blogs and bands, I've struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember.  I've tried countless diets and exercise programs throughout the years and have gone up and down.  Now..I'm ready for a change..bandland here I come!

Today I started my ten day liquid diet and it went ok.  I tried to stay busy which I think is the trick to getting through it.  At least I have the weekend to test it out.  We will see what tomorrow brings..wish me luck!